


Transcendence is Boring

by PencilsDown



Series: Life on Earth [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aunts & Uncles, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Fix-It of Sorts, Fun, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:28:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26771425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PencilsDown/pseuds/PencilsDown
Summary: Don’t get it wrong, Clarke was relieved. No, not just relieved. Loved. Blessed. Whatever else you want to call it. She was all of the above. The thought of being – well, definitively being – the very last person on any planet for the rest of her days crushed her lungs in a way that was physically painful.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Madi, Emori & John Murphy (The 100), Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Hope Diyoza & Jordan Jasper Green, Madi & John Murphy (The 100), Madi/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake & Madi
Series: Life on Earth [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964974
Comments: 9
Kudos: 34





	Transcendence is Boring

Don’t get it wrong, Clarke was relieved. No, not just relieved. Loved. Blessed. Whatever else you want to call it. She was all of the above. The thought of being – well, definitively being – the very last person on any planet for the rest of her days crushed her lungs in a way that was physically painful. 

Being alone, literally bearing the punishment of humanity, had become Clarke’s greatest fear. She realized that when Picasso hadn’t returned to her at the beach when she called out to her. But by some stroke of luck, not even these beings were that intentionally cruel, and she didn’t have to bear being the last of humanity alone. 

Her friends came back to be with her. Refused whatever otherworldly peace or lightness they had. Could have had. Instead, they chose to return to Earth to live out the rest of their days with her, as the very last of humanity. No more wars. No more fighting. Just this found family of hers for the rest of their days.

Clarke was happy. Content. Did she mention relieved? Because that was at the top of the list. But underneath of all of that, underneath the relief and gratitude and comradery, there was still this utter displacement and crushing devastation. 

The being who took Lexa’s form had said that Madi would never be in pain, never die. She kept replaying that part in her head over and over again while sitting with everyone around the fire that evening. They had decided to build a campfire and stay on the beach for a while, given that there was no pressing hurry to build shelter or fortify some sort of camp.

Octavia and Levitt were on one log, Octavia telling Levitt more about Earth as he watched her with adoring eyes. 

Jordan and Hope were sitting on the next log over, with Hope laughing at some corny joke Jordan had told. 

Murphy and Emori were dancing. There was no beat that Clarke could hear, but they appeared to be on a rhythm that only the two of them were privy to.

Raven was tinkering with an old MP3 player she’d picked up somewhere back at the bunker. She had grumbled something about having actual music to dance to as Niylah flitted around the campfire, only slightly inebriated. 

Echo, in what Clarke thought was a rare show of silliness for the former spy, was mimicking Niylah’s movements as the two Azgeda women laughed like they didn’t have a care in the world. And Clarke guessed that at this point, they didn’t. They were truly free.

Miller and Jackson were cuddled in each other’s arms close to the fire, just enjoying being in each other’s presence again without the weight of impending doom lying over them.

Indra and Gaia were farthest from the fire – situated a little ways down the beach. They had been walking together along the shoreline, discussing something that didn’t seem to have either woman on edge. That was good to see. They had the chance to find their way as mother and daughter again. Mother and daughter.

That left Clarke, sitting off to the side near Picasso, just taking everything in. The problem was that every scene she took in only reminded her of one person – the most important person Clarke’s world had ever seen. 

She saw herself telling Madi stories when she looked at Octavia and Levitt. She heard Madi’s laughter instead of Hope’s as she was transported back to a time where Madi was full of almost non-stop giggles. Back when it was just the two of them in Shallow Valley. A time Clarke selfishly wished she could get back to. 

Jackson and Miller reminded her of Madi’s head in her lap as she stroked her hair and they spoke softly to each other until Madi would eventually drift off to sleep.

Where Niylah and Echo danced around the fire had been replaced with images of Madi dancing around the rover as Maya’s music played over the speakers.

Indra and Gaia…. well, mothers and daughters. Just like Raven had said back at the farmhouse in Sanctum. At the time, Clarke thought she’d never think of that dynamic and not ache for her own mother. That was before Clarke herself became a mother without her daughter. 

Clarke knew within her heart of hearts that Madi was okay. The version of Lexa said as much. But that did nothing to ease the ever-present ache of loss or turn off the maternal instincts that had been in overdrive for over 6 years now. Clarke was a mother first. She was a mother first in a world without her daughter.

The very same daughter she spent 6 years raising alone on this planet. The same one who had been the only one by her side the last time she thought she was the last remaining human on Earth. The one she’d tried so desperately, but still failed so miserably, to protect.

Her friends had told her she hadn’t failed Madi. Gaia told her that Madi knew Clarke wouldn’t want her here and that Madi was at peace and happy knowing Clarke wasn’t alone. Only Gaia was wrong. Madi was wrong. Of course Clarke was happier having her friends back, but the one face she’d trade anything to see was still a ball of light floating off somewhere in oblivion. Clarke wasn’t lonely, but she was still without her baby. She supposed that was meant to be her real punishment after all.

Clarke was pulled from her memories and internal pity-party when Picasso let out a yelp beside her.

“What is it girl? You’re okay,” something she used to utter to her child whenever she was in distress was now used to try and comfort said child’s pet. Must not have the same effect on dogs, though, Clarke concludes as Picasso took off into the dark woods behind them.

Everyone around the campfire spared a glance to where Picasso ran off, but Clarke waved off Raven and Miller in their attempts to get up and pursue where the dog had gone. 

“You guys just keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll bring her back. It’s not like there’s yet another hidden civilization of humanity waiting for me in the woods,” and just like that, Clarke’s little joke had its desired effect as they all turned back to their respective tasks and partners as they chuckled.

Clarke called out to the dog every few steps, fearing that Picasso would get too far for her caretaker to be able to track in the dark. The dog never returned to her and didn’t let out any more helpful yelps, but Clarke did hear something akin to a twig snapping off to the right. She decided that was the best lead she was going to get at this point, so she followed it. 

Quieting old, deep-seated instincts that were screaming at her to be on guard with her eyes sharp and a weapon within her reach, Clarke slowly and carefully moved some branches out of the way as she drew closer to the sound. She eventually caught sight of Picasso sitting obediently, as if sitting in front of someone. Clarke drew even closer to finally catch sight of what, no who, was rubbing under Picasso’s ears, making them flop up and down. 

“You’re such a good girl! Did you miss me? I know I missed you.” It was happening. Clarke knew it. She was reaching a state of grief where she was hearing things. Seeing things. 

Madi slowly stood up from her crouched position to beckon the dog to follow her towards the sounds of people enjoying a carefree night on Earth. When she stood and looked up, she saw Clarke, holding her breath as tears pooled dangerously in her bottom lids, standing frozen by a branch. It was as if she was afraid to move, or even breathe, for fear that is would interrupt whatever she was seeing.

Madi, with that big, dazzling smile Clarke saw every other time she closed her eyes, took a step forward and said, “Transcendence was boring. No moms allowed.” 

And that was it. That was all it took for Clarke to find her footing as Madi met her halfway for a bone-crushing embrace. An embrace so fierce you would think Clarke was holding on to a lifeline in the middle of the sea. And in a way, she was. Madi was her lifeline. And the way Madi clung to her told Clarke that she was Madi’s as well. 

“H-how? How are you here? Why are you here? Are you okay? Are you in any pain? Do you have any weakness….”

“Clarke!” 

Clarke took a breath from her rapid-fire questions to look down at her daughter – her baby – her baby who was here, right in front her, and not a ball of light or locked-in. 

“I am fine. No pain. No weakness. I promise. I know you might be mad that I changed my mind and came back, but I just couldn’t stand the thought of everyone else, of you, down here witho…”

And whatever else Madi was about to say died on her lips as her mother pulled her to her chest and pressed a long kiss to the side of her head.

“I could never be mad at you. Ever. I need you to know that. I was fine with whatever decision you made, just so long as I knew you were okay. But God did I miss you. I feel like I can finally breathe for the first time since I had you in my arms in the nuclear reactor. I need you to know that this time is going to be different. There won’t be any wars to fight or people to fear, but there also won’t be any school or other kids to be around.”

Clarke had wanted to say more, but Madi had to get this out before Clarke got herself all upset again. 

“I know, Clarke, and I can accept that. There wasn’t any school to go to or other kids to play with where I was, anyway. Like I said, transcendence is boring. Plus, they have like a ‘no moms allowed’ policy. Well, maybe it was just my mom that wasn’t allowed, but still…”

And just like that, although Madi hadn’t left Clarke’s arms since they embraced, she found her face once again squashed against her mother’s chest as Clarke cradled the back of her head and rocked her where she stood. Madi could feel Clarke’s tears sliding onto her own scalp, and she could hear her furiously sniffling every couple of seconds. She knew Clarke needed this. To just be able to hold her. 

When Clarke finally started to ease the grip she had on the back of Madi’s head, Madi chanced a glance at Picasso, who sat patiently off to the side waiting for one of her humans to give her the go ahead to head back to camp.

Madi smiled seeing how patient Picasso was being and looked back up to Clarke who was still staring at Madi like she’d disappear any second. Clarke’s hand hovered to the side of Madi’s face as the other clutched one of Madi’s smaller hands. 

“Clarke, it hasn’t even been a day since I’ve been gone. You’re going to have to stop looking at me like that eventually so we can get back to camp sometime before the sun rises,” Madi said it with a lightness she’d knew Clarke would understand, and she was rewarded when Clarke let out a low chuckle and ducked her head as she marched forward, leading Madi by the hand. 

Picasso, taking this as her queue, trotted along behind the two as they made the trek back to where their little family was camped out back on the beach.

Clarke hadn’t quite made it through the clearing when she was hit with a couple of different exclamations from her friends.

“Clarke, there you are! We were getting ready to send out a search party!” Raven had only briefly glanced in Clarke’s direction as it appears she had been gathering supplies when she heard Clarke approach.

“Yeah,” Murphy snorted, “Leave it to Clarke Griffin to find trouble in the woods of the last literal outpost of humanity,” he snorted again as Emori glared at him and gave him a reprimanding slap across the stomach.

Clarke had yet to say anything, but she realized that all eyes were on her as she eventually broke the clearing. She slowly tugged at the hand attached to hers until Madi came into view with Picasso right on her heels.

It happened all at once. Raven dropped whatever supplies she had, Niylah was yelling for Indra and Gaia to come over, Jackson was pushing Miller off of him as they both stumbled in their haste to stand, Jordan and Hope leapt off of their log and stood next to Levitt and Octavia in stunned silence, Echo stopped her dancing as the biggest grin spread over her face, and Emori smiled and looked to Murphy only to find him no longer next to her.

Murphy had been the first to make a move towards the girl, and he quickly pulled her to him the second he reached her. 

“Never do that to us again, do you hear me?” He held the back of her head to his chest much like her mother had but minutes before him. “Never scare us like that again, okay? You’re a vital part of this family, and we need every member to function. I mean, look at us? We need all the help we can get.” Murphy is wearing a watery smile as he releases her head from his chest and looks over to Clarke. Clarke is in even worse shape than he is, but he knows that it’s for the best reason this time.

Everyone else takes their turn greeting their youngest member before Gaia grabs her a piece of meat while Hope gets her some water and Raven offers her what she deems “the best seat in the house,” on a hollowed out log, conveniently located right next to Clarke’s claimed seat.

“So, being a ball of light wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, huh?” Of course it had to be Murphy who brought up that little detail.

“I mean at least now I have you to force to play soccer with me. Can’t exactly do that as a ball of light with no legs…. or when you’re paralyzed….”

Clarke had hovered beside Madi since her return, but that statement had Clarke wrapping her arms around her daughter to pull her to her as she started rocking her again. Madi could feel her mother’s guilt and pain while in her embrace, and she could see it on the face of each of her family members – even Murphy. No, especially Murphy. That simply wouldn’t do.

Madi slowly pried herself away from Clarke’s embrace and stood up as Clarke followed suit, watching Madi with concerned eyes. Madi looked at her mother and gave her a small smile as she took a breath and addressed the group.

“I didn’t say that to hurt you guys, I swear. That was never my intention. What I did,” and she looked exclusively at Clarke before continuing, “was never to hurt you. I was trying to save you. I just – I know I failed to do that, but you have to know that it was never to hurt you. Any of you. I wasn’t trying to make things harder for you. I was trying to help. I was trying to keep anyone else from getting hurt because of me again.” Madi’s voice broke on the last few words as tears finally crept down her face.

Of course, Clarke was already burying Madi in her embrace again and whispering reassurances in her ear about how she was okay, how everything was okay. Most of the group watched with tears either streaming down their cheeks or pooling in their eyes. They all took in the scene until it became too much, and they had to look away. They all looked around at one another, a silent question passing around the group.

“Madi,” Octavia was the one to answer the unspoken question, “We know you weren’t trying to hurt us. We know you thought you were doing what was best for all of us. We saw you – I saw you – after your session with…. him….” Octavia grimaced as she saw Clarke flinch at the mention of Cadogan and the state in which he left Madi, but this had to be said. 

“You fought with everything you had. You were braver than just about any adult would’ve been when put in your situation.” Octavia stopped and looked to her side after Levitt squeezed her hand. She looked to him and gave him a slight nod – knowing that whatever he had to say would be important.

“Madi, I was raised from birth to follow the cause. The only thing I ever knew was the Shepherd and his cause ‘for all mankind.’ I was considered the most knowledgeable and best at my position. You were the first and only child who’d ever been put in M-Cap in our 1,000-year quest.”

Yep. That turned some heads. All eyes were on Levitt, except for Madi’s, whose eyes were glued to the ground, and Clarke’s, whose eyes were glued to her child’s downcast face. Clarke was hearing and processing everything that was said, but all she could focus on was Madi’s face. There’d be time to be angry at Cadogan again later. There’d be time to process the true trauma that Madi endured later. Right now, she had to make sure Madi understood. Really understood.

Levitt continued. “I’d never seen anything like your mind before, and I’d seen a lot of minds over the years – including that of Octavia and Clarke. I’ve seen grown adults with fully formed brains crack under the pressure and hemorrhage. The memories we were trying to access from you weren’t even stored where memories are typically supposed to be stored. We had to dig deeper and access places we’d never really touched before.”

At all of the uncomfortable, and even a few hostile, looks he was getting, Levitt decided it was probably time to wrap this up.

“The point is that you, a child with a brain that isn’t fully formed, and memories lodged in abnormal places, managed to fight off the most advanced technicians and 1,000 years of mind torture techniques without hemorrhaging. You not only put up a fight, you had us defeated. I know that might not mean much after what happened, but I need you to know just how strong and brave and just all around incredible you are. And I can say that with authority because I’ve been inside your mind.” He finished the last part with a wink in her direction and the girl finally cracked a smile.

“He got the code, so what?” This voice belonged to Raven, and with the way everyone’s head snapped towards her after she said that, and judging by the murderous gleam in Clarke’s eye, she figured she should hurry up with her explanation.

“Look, he got the code and the test was failed at first because it was only taken by one person. It took me, Octavia, and really all of us to prove that we as human beings deserved something more than just extinction. The point is that none of us has to shoulder the burden alone anymore. We’re better together. We do things together. I know in the past that it’s been all on Clarke and you felt like you had to put it all on yourself, but that’s just not the case anymore. It never should’ve felt that way to begin with.” Raven finished with an apologetic glance to Clarke, to which Clarke simply smiled and gave her a small nod. They communicated what they needed to with those simple gestures. No need to apologize. Refusing to leave her alone on Earth was apology enough.

Echo stepped forward from where she’d been standing to add one final thought before they would try and turn this night into a welcome home party. “Take it from someone who spent a lot of time devoted to the wrong causes just because those causes gave life meaning. I was desperately seeking that meaning through a cause because I was all on my own. I had nothing else to fight for. Nothing to live for. None of us has that problem anymore. We live for each other. We gather strength from each other.” She looked around and nodded to each person as they all nodded in return.

“Okay, okay, I get it. No more trying to save the world or bearing it all so that you guys don’t have to. I promise not to do anything stupid or heroic like that ever again. I mean, since you guys all basically called me a hero….”

That did the trick. That got them all laughing and was enough to change the tide of the evening from serious back to lighthearted and fun. Leave it to Madi to have that effect on people. Her joy had always been infectious, not that Clarke was biased or anything.

Clarke sat back down next to Madi as the girl tossed a stick towards the water for Picasso to go fetch. She couldn’t help but just stare at her. She still couldn’t believe she was really here. Who was she kidding? She always stared at Madi during quiet moments like this. She could never get over just how beautiful her baby girl was or how lucky she felt to have her. 

“Clarke, you’re doing it again.” Busted.

“Sorry Madi, I guess it’s just a mom thing.” She felt her heart skip several beats as Madi flashed that smile at her again. The soft one she’d given her after Clarke told the little girl she was glad her friends had left without her during Praimfaya. That soft smile always made Clarke’s heart leap in her chest.

“Well, mom, it might be a little creepy if you spend every second looking at me like that for the rest of our lives.” Madi laughed softly as Picasso reapproached with her retrieved stick.

Clarke just stared at Madi – jaw falling to the ground and wide eyed – as the girl went to casually toss the stick again, like what she’d just said had been no big deal.

“Madi, did you – you just – you….” Clarke stuttered and stammered as her brain tried to process what just happened. Yes, Madi was Clarke’s daughter. Clarke had been saying and acknowledging that for years. It was a fact. But to hear that word, directed to her, coming from her baby’s lips…. Clarke was clutching Madi to her chest for what seemed to be the millionth time that night.  
But Madi didn’t mind. In fact, she soaked up every second of the attention and affection. She knew it was a mom thing, and she had missed her mom like nobody could even imagine. Transcendence was boring. Her mom wasn’t allowed.

**Author's Note:**

> So I fixed the glaring issue with the series finale. Luckily the ending was open-ended enough that this is actually well within the realm of possibility. In my mind, this was how it truly ended. I might turn this into a series based on our favorite "found family's" adventures on the ground.


End file.
